Tongue in Chic by Christina Dodd

The weather was still terrible and I was still desperate, so I convinced myself that the slight improvement was the start of a positive trend and moved on the book #3.


Meadow Szarvos' grandmother was a famous painter who took her baby daughter & escaped a stifling marriage to a wealthy man. Before she died she told Meadow that she had left her masterpiece behind when she ran. That painting never went on the market so Meadow assumes that it is still be in the house. Her mother is desperately ill, and Meadow needs money for her treatment so she decides to break and steal the painting. She has no experience as a thief, but nevertheless has no trouble getting into the house. A state of the art security system doesn’t even slow her down, but she’s completely stymied by the fact that the painting is no longer hanging over the mantle. Apparently it had never occurred to her that it might have been moved in 60+ years.

While she’s trying to decide what to do she’s caught by Devlin Fitzwilliam, the new owner of the house. She trips trying to get away and bangs her head, then in an attempt to escape responsibility for the break in she claims that the head injury has given her amnesia. Because Meadow is just that hot Devlin calls her bluff by pretending that she's his long lost wife. Meadow wants to stay in the house so she can search for the painting, so she decides to play along. Devlin keeps the lie going because he wants to get into Meadow's pants. They're both lying and they each know that the other is lying, but neither can do anything about it without admitting to their own lie, so they both just go right on lying. Meadow keeps pretending to have amnesia and Devlin keeps pretending that they're married. He even starts telling other people that Meadow is his wife. Naturally they end up in bed and the sex is phenomenal. Afterward they’re lying in bed and Devlin does something to annoy Meadow and she responds by giving him a “purple nurple”. Seriously. She not only pinches him hard enough to bruise, she refers to it as a “purple nurple”. What adult does that? At that point I realized that even if I was snowed in for a week I’d never be desperate enough to continue reading this story and “WTH?” became DNF.

Grade: DNF